Dear Jack Black, dear Kyle Gass,
By now I know Tenacious D, as a band, for only about one year, but I love your music and your humour and I think your DVD, The Complete Masterworks, is hilarious. I am a friend of good Rock’n’Roll and I enjoy concerts to the fullest and since I have seen that DVD there is no other band, that i’d rather like to see rocking the stage as the mighty D.
So it was in mid of November, when I found out that you are on tour right now, so I immediately checked the tour dates and places and I was hoping, eagerly praying to all gods, that you fucking rock Germany. Well it didn’t really surprise me, that there are no concerts in Germany, I already thought so. I already went on another webpage to look up for flights going to Britain to maybe see a concert there and I was almost about to book two plane tickets for a concert in London for a friend and me, but then I realized that the concerts are already sold out. It made me doleful that you won’t come to rock our German socks off.
A few days later, still deeply upset, after I just got up at around 2pm, and I was still in bed, chatting with a friend via instant messaging, telling him how upset I was, when I had the idea to start this online petition and create a webpage. Then everything happened real quickly, I thought of a name, went through the lyrics and the DVD in my mind, it was still in the morning at the crack of noon, when I told my friend, that I am now getting up for deep knee rocksquat. So that is how this page got its name and the whole thing started. Two weeks later this site was online. It’s just hard to widespread the petition since I am a student with not much money, but I am doing the best to make this petition more popular and thus will also raise the popularity of Tenacious D. So since I am doing this, I registered at many online boards, at music- and guitar-magazines, as well as radio stations and also on festival pages. And it was just today on December 30th, when I went on a website about Europe’s 2nd largest Festival, called Rock am Ring, with about 80 thousand music fans, most bands are Rockbands. However on this webpage I found a thread that somebody wishes Tenacious D at Rock am Ring and it had many positive replies. As I said, it is a huge 3-day festival, which takes place also in two German cities at the same time, so bands go from the one stage to the other by helicopter, and there are around 80 thousand people each from all over Europe. So how about a performance there and later on an awesome tour over Germany? I would also dress up like a priest in front of the concert hall, telling people not go there or their souls will be damned forever, plus I have friends who would support me with that for free. How do you like that? I think it sounds great.
Kyle, I read on the German Wikipedia website, that your family is originally from Germany, so please come home and rock! You know what time it is! It’s Tenacious D time! You motherfuckers GO!
I would be very glad if you reply to this to ag[at]rocksquat[dot]com.
Thank you.
Yours sincerely
Andreas Gabel (Contact)
Am 19. Januar 2007 um 19:46 Uhr
Hey KG and Jabels!
I enjoy your music since your first album. I love your music and I love your Shows on HBO and also I really enjoyed your movie!
I’ve travelled from Germany all the way to London to see you guys playin’! And man, I tell you, I would have paid a much more higher price to get there. It was just amazin’! I also met Lee in front of the Apollo Hall! Your concert rocked so bad!!!! So, please, as you can see, you have a huge fan community in Germany. Come to Germany please, Rock our Socks Off!!! THX!
Am 1. Februar 2007 um 12:48 Uhr
Dear Jack and Kyle,
Obeying the D is it, which makes our lives worth living!
But long distance worshipping can become fucking exhausting, because so much energy is lost over the atlantic, and recenlty it becomes live threatening as well …
We Europeans have fucking serious problems with our socks! We cannot take them off anymore, because since they have heared the D, they decided only to be rocked off!!
So we have to wear fresh socks over the old ones, and as you can imagine, this creates serious problems, and i do not only refer to the odor! We regularly have to buy larger shoes, but this is not the worst, the real problem is the coming alive of the socks. Satanic energy and the magic of bacteria gave them their own will, namely to obey and worship the D!
This, as such, would be fine for us, but people from all over Europe have lost the power over their feet!!
We now have to fight against our socks wandering to the D,
because otherwise we all would be doomed to drown in the Atlantic ocean … like lemmings!
Unfortunaley your telekinesis does not work, because of the distance!! So please save our souls from drowning, give us what we need, what would make our lives complete …
… a live show somewhere in central Europe!
greetings from your faithful worshipper Flo
(from Vienna, Austria!)
Am 13. Februar 2007 um 21:42 Uhr
Come on guys, move your asses over here and LET US SEE YOU ROCK!!!
Am 14. Februar 2007 um 16:48 Uhr
Yeah, please come to Germany!
I would also support this soul damning priest idea - for free!
K.G. for bundeskanzler!
Another Flo
from Wuppertal, Germany
Am 17. Februar 2007 um 11:38 Uhr
Dear JB and dear KG!
Once there was a fine young boy
hungry for the rock
Oh, he truly was the Devil’s toy
Rockin’ ’round the clock
But then he became aware
somethin’ was missing in his heart
not knowing who else did care
swearing to find it or be torn apart
On his lengthy errand
through the plains of Holy Rock
he heard a sound so galant
he merely lost his cock
Following the chanting
of two angels in disguise
our boy was finally flying
to see the giants riiiiiiiiise!
[mighty thunder, roaring, chanting of huge choir, lightning, orgasm sounds]
There they stood, two angels
rocking off God’s socks
and the Devil kneeled before them
sucking on their cocks
They sang a song of such beauty
our hero lost his mind
he bowed before his masters
Saying:
“Gods of Metal!
come down to our unworthy land
where boredom kills mankind
where music is our fortune
and your music fortune we will find!
Bless us with your holy chant
would you please save us with your Rock
and rock off every single sock?!”
So hear our whining mighty Gods
wake up and rise again
Claim the crown as our lords
Because German rockers are all lame!
From the bottom of our hearts
we proclaim frankly and free:
ALL HAIL THE D!!!
To my beloved Jack and Kyle:
Don’t let us suffer any longer! We are so hungered for your presence on German stages and for you fuckin’ tearing shit up in our country.
We need you here!
Am 18. Februar 2007 um 02:26 Uhr
dear jaybles and K.G
I lissen to your music since 1 year now and i just love it it is awesome i worship u. Your gods !
i missed out your concert in auckland - new zealand
but i want so to see you fucking rocking
come on double team supreme its time to blow doors down
would also support damned priest thing
can I be a sasquatch to ?
Am 17. März 2007 um 18:19 Uhr
Dear Jack, dear Kyle,
I’m going crazy, because I wanna see you rock this fucking country to the hilt. I’m not satisfied by little movies from youtube or something else. I NEED MORE!!! So come on over here and satisfy me =;).
Ningel
Am 19. März 2007 um 09:17 Uhr
I totally miss you.
I’ve been on vacation in New Zealand in January. Three days ealier I could had a chance to see you in Auckland.
So near and so far away!
I was very disappointed to hear from Jables that you only play in countries where the mother language is english because of understanding your gags.
Come and rock our socks off, here are many fans who can understand you.
POD is the greatest rock movie I’ve ever seen.
I’m glad I’ve the chance to see it in english again and again.
Obey The D!
Am 8. April 2007 um 17:33 Uhr
Hey jack,
I andress only you because we both know that Jabels is a little bitch and really has nothing to say. When I found this page and read the “open letter” I was disgusted and ashamed. This little wiener is worse than Lee. BUT then I thought about what you said on the extras on the School of Rock DVD. You know what I’m talking about….the Zepplin thing….yeah…so if I may quote you: “If it is something you really want….you might have to get on your knees.” Dude…Me knees are bleeding. If you promise me to come over if I can organize the “thousand screeming people” I’ll fucking buy them…or kidnap them or….I don’t now…I’ll figure something out. Aaaanyway…we need u here guys. And you have a duty to bring Rock to the world!
Am 8. April 2007 um 17:34 Uhr
er…ok…we all know I meant Kage…not Jables…DAMN.
Am 24. April 2007 um 20:48 Uhr
I share Al´s opinion. come over to germany to kick some ass! ask dio to join. we need good music over here, so sing for us we kneel master
Am 21. Mai 2007 um 22:53 Uhr
come to germany, as long as i can resist the wish to emigrate! get a stick from me in the back! i mean that weedy stick in the backstage area. DAMMIT, ROCK US!!! WE DESERVE SOME TENACIOUS D!!!
…and watch some films from me: http://www.mjay-productions.de just an idea…
Am 8. Juni 2007 um 12:40 Uhr
Please come to fucking germany asap!!! And if it’s only for a few shows… WE NEED YOU!!!!!!!!! Let’s rock guys!
Am 18. Juni 2007 um 20:48 Uhr
Dear Kyle, dear Jack,
everybody befor me said it: ‘PLEASE come to fucking good old Germany!’ We need your Rock’n'Roll! Your kind of music.
I would fly to the states to see you but the tickets are too expensive and I think it’s much cheaper if you will come to Germany!
You have more than enough fans to fill a station! Please. Give ONE concert. That’s all.
I don’t want more!!!
Come to us and see how germans can rock!
We will show you!
Martin
Am 30. Juni 2007 um 14:17 Uhr
Hey, that’s serious: We NEED you to feel alive.
So PLEASE spread your spirit in germany!
Am 13. Juli 2007 um 09:34 Uhr
Hey guys,
i´ve got to say this page and petition got my full support!!!
I missed you guys when you had your gig in Brisbane, what sucked.
Now i´m back in germany and i´m freezing my ass of in this socalled
summer, which sucks too.
But the most fucked up thing is that you aren´t playing in germany.
I hope you aren´t scared of zee bad germans. We won´t hurt you
unless your concert doesn´t rock. so you should be pretty save
Am 16. Juli 2007 um 22:13 Uhr
Hi you rocking Aces!!!!
I cant understand how two so ugly people can perform the best Rock in the world.Ugly just because iam jealous….cause all the other countrys can kick ass with Tenacious D. If there is a little Rock-energy left,which can reloaded to rock a country-you both know where to find it.GERMANY NEEDS ROCK-AND TENACIOUS D PERFORMS ROCK IN ITS BEST!
Am 18. Juli 2007 um 12:36 Uhr
Hey the “D”
the best bettys and the best titts are in Germany!!
Come to fucking germany and rock our socks off!!!
PLEEEEEAAAAAASSE
-kick ass!-
Am 29. Juli 2007 um 23:26 Uhr
Hey guys come over the fucking ocean… put out your guitar and microphone and ROCK FUCKING GERMANY
Am 3. August 2007 um 19:39 Uhr
Tenacious D - the best band ever
Please come to germany!!!!
Am 12. August 2007 um 12:52 Uhr
Hey Tenacious D!!!
That there is no concert in germany makes over 100000 people so sad… So please come to germany and show how to rock!!! If there would be a Tenacious D concert in germany I would have over 20 friends in our little town who would come with me… and thats only one little town in this big country… And i heard you heard you the first time i thought:”Are you angels??” :D:D:D:D i´m joking…
So please Kings of rock come on and show us how o rock…
Hope to see you later;)
Marius
Am 14. August 2007 um 17:23 Uhr
Hey Big D…
please come to good ol’ germany!!!!
i’m beggin’ you… please!!!
long live THE D!!!
philip
Am 21. August 2007 um 14:47 Uhr
One’s first step in wisdom is to kuesteon everything - and one’s last is to come to terms with everything.
Am 30. August 2007 um 14:39 Uhr
Hey KG and JB!
I love you, baby, and all I can think about is
TENACIOUS D, man, you got to perform - NOW GET IT ON AND COME TO GERMANY
Cheers!
Dave
Am 15. September 2007 um 09:46 Uhr
JB,KG i need your sweet rock juice!
Am 22. September 2007 um 14:31 Uhr
if god sent us a band……it was TENACIOUS D.
Am 25. September 2007 um 22:08 Uhr
Please come to Germany ^^
Am 1. Oktober 2007 um 22:46 Uhr
Maybe you’re scared to get your socks rocked off !!!
Show us some courage and rock the hell outta my mind !
Am 10. Oktober 2007 um 17:47 Uhr
KG, JB:
what else is there to say…YOU GUYS ROCK!!! Come to Germany NOW!! I’ll sell my Dio albums if I have to..
I salute you gods of rock
Am 26. Oktober 2007 um 19:58 Uhr
Hey 2 Kings,
me and a friend of mine are very big FANS. So we want you to rock our fucking socks off… Infact we are getting ready ( we try to do cxxkpushups everyday and try inward-singing.) So think about…
Am 26. Oktober 2007 um 23:13 Uhr
What up kingz,
Think about it men. We want to rock with you. And after show we make a DRIVE THRU or so.
And guys. Watch for less calories and your figur. You know what I mean.
We see us in Germany
Am 8. November 2007 um 13:35 Uhr
We truly want to see a show which is equal to 29 orgasms^^
we need the D
Am 22. November 2007 um 23:42 Uhr
we are lost and so alone
we ask for your guidance!
come over here! if you need a place to sleep… no problem!
Am 27. November 2007 um 10:54 Uhr
Praise you mighty Rocking Gods
you are the bee’s knees
get together your odds and sods
and visit us in Europe, please!
But not only Germany longs for you
here in Austria we also love The D.,
JB and KG - the Rock Kings - Mighty two
so visit us - your servant DeeJay B.
Am 28. Dezember 2007 um 19:11 Uhr
C’mon Kage, c’mon Jables - bring us the thunder!!
Am 31. Dezember 2007 um 02:54 Uhr
Hey KG and JB
This is the greatest and best Band in the World…TENACIOUS D
Damn It…Your Music is so fucking good…
PLEASE PLEAS COME TO US TO GERMANY WE ALL WANT SEE YOU..
GERMANY NEED THE D DAMN
see us in the Olympia Hall
Juli
Am 10. Januar 2008 um 11:01 Uhr
Hello KG and JB!
We also want to see you to rock in AUSTRIA!!!!!
greets
Andi
Am 10. Januar 2008 um 17:47 Uhr
ROCK A GERMAN STAGE, MAN!
Am 27. Januar 2008 um 03:54 Uhr
Come on guys it would be a dream come true when you rock germany (specially hamburg) some day! i will be in the first row!
COME ON!
ROCK ON! \m/
Am 29. Februar 2008 um 10:25 Uhr
i´m going to pay the ticket with one of my balls man !!!!!
i´m looking forward seeing you in good old germany!!
Am 23. April 2008 um 09:54 Uhr
Please come to europe…
I love your music…
I dont know what to write…
My greates dream is to see you live…
Please come to rock our fucking socks of….
Please please….
Am 25. April 2008 um 12:30 Uhr
Even DIO was over here….. THINK ABOUT IT MAN!!!
Am 12. Mai 2008 um 12:39 Uhr
hey jb and kg dudes pleas comes to germany man we want to see your. I and my best frind we listen all the fucking time your music ,pleas comes and rock our socks man ! when your come then is germany more than happy! I know your made lots of movies but germany want to see and listen your ! I AM YOUR FAN THE MOST SAD I AM YOUR GREATEST FAN BUT I AM MORE THAN YOUR GREATES YOUR ARE MY IDOLE! ROCK IS GREAT !
Am 14. Mai 2008 um 16:54 Uhr
fuck i don’t even think that you’ll be playing in germany any time but today i found out that you will play at the reading festival and bam! it’s sold out please play more shows that aren’t sold out that fast there is nothing i wish more than seeing you!
Am 18. Mai 2008 um 09:48 Uhr
The D in Dublin /IRL!!! August 2008 im Marlay Park.
Wer fliegt hin?
Flug für 75 € / Eintritt 50 €
nachricht per e-mail bitte an tenaciousd@tothespace.de
soweit meine recherche: Karten und Flugtickets ( mit Billigflieger ) noch zu kriegen!
Hopp hopp hopp …. ich will ROCKEN!!!
Am 19. Mai 2008 um 09:37 Uhr
Hey Jables and KG!!
I really loved seeing your movie in the Cinema - The pick of Destiny - the greatest film ever! Since I saw this movie I really want to see you live on stage! So - come to Germany and rock our socks up!
Rock on! ;-)))
Martina
Am 2. Juni 2008 um 17:55 Uhr
´WAS BEWIRKT ES EIGENTLICH HIER WAS ZU SCHREIBEN TENACIOUS D WEIß DOCH NICHT DAS WIR HIER DENNEN WAS SCHREIBEN FINDE ICH UNLOGGISCH?GEHT DAS HIER EIGENTLICH AN DIE CHECK ICH NET
Am 10. Juni 2008 um 21:21 Uhr
Hey JB & KG!
we are one of the biggest tenacious d fans.
we are lee
we even call us the second D sometimes, because we’re the same
best friends/dudes as you :]
we LOVE your songs and the way you rock.
you’re the freakin’ gods of ROCK!!
we would sell our souls to see you live!
C O M E T O G E R M A N Y !!
a dream would be come true for ALL OF US.
ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK.
Am 2. Oktober 2008 um 19:25 Uhr
Hey D,
it would be pretty fine have you guys doing a concert in Cologne since we got some nice places for a show and not at least a huge rock community. Well hence yeah, it would be pretty cool.
But if you motherfuckers think you ain’t big enough for the huge 20.000+ halls, then stay the hell out of Cologne!
US Bands are playing here nearly every day not being sure if they even get their bills paid by selling their damn tickets, but they do it, because they love doing it!
If you aren’t aware of the german people: we are one of the world’s most enthusiastic Rock-”fans”!
So if you mind playing in 500 man or less clubs, well stay away and be the mainstream star you would like to be in the countries where you guys are better known. A pitty, but well… that’s your own ballgame.
Take care
Am 27. Oktober 2008 um 09:19 Uhr
Hey JB and KG,
I really love your music, usually I don’t hear Rock music, but yours isn’t only rock, it’s also funny, it entertains me, it’s just great.
I would really love it to hear you play in Germany, this would be fuckin awesome!
And not only the music, every musicvideo you publish is a little masterpiece, no compare to the other mainstream-shit.
I hope to see you in Germany
Am 22. März 2009 um 17:28 Uhr
Dear D,
please come and kick our asses^^
You rock
Am 14. Juni 2009 um 21:33 Uhr
What is the problem?
I cannot understand……
I am sad….
But i will never stop loving you… Tenacious D.
WHERE IS THE FUCKIN PROBLEM??? Don´t you like German Fans?
Your Great Voice ( Mr. Black ) and your Fingers, protected by the light of God Himself ( Mr. Gass ) are able to conquer the whole world… And you know that i am absolutely telling the truth…. Yes… Movies…. And your famlilies… They are important too. The family should be the most important!… Bur if you find time….. Don´t waste one second…
One big event more!
Live is not over… So let’s make it comfortable…. We need only YOU!
I LOVE YOU !
And Dave Grohl!
Am 1. November 2009 um 21:01 Uhr
Dear JB, dear KG
please come to germany and rock this country!
Play for all the german fans of Tenacious D
fucking greeeeeeeezzzzzzzz
Mike
Am 5. Dezember 2009 um 20:02 Uhr
NEED U ROCKIN GERMANY
love ya, claire
Am 29. Dezember 2009 um 16:26 Uhr
Ich dachte ich hätte schon einmal was hinterlassen. Hat wohl nicht geklappt…
HEY THERE JABLES, HEY THERE KAGINSKY
I REALY FUCKIN LOVE YOUR MUSIC. EVERYTIME I FEEL SAD, I HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT. EVERYTIME I FEEL GOOD, I HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT. EVERYTIME I LIKE TO PARTY, I LISTEN TO IT. BECAUSE YOUR MUSIC IS THE MOST INNOVATIVE AND MOST ROCKING SHIT THIS WORLD EVER SAW. KG I THINK YOURE THE VERY BEST GUITAR-HERO IN THE WORLD. JB, YOURE VOICE AND YOUR FACE_ACROBATICS ARE THE BEST THING I CAN IMAGINE. I HOPE, ONE DAY YOU´LL COME TO GERMANY. IF NOT I´LL HAVE TO STALK YOU IN THE STATES. SO, SEE YOU ANYWAY. IF YOU COME TO GERMANY, I SERVE YOU SOME REAL GERMAN FOOD AND BEER! SO COME ON…
I HOPE MY SOCKS WILL BE ROCKED OFF ONE DAY!
Ich hoffe Tenacious D wird das irgendwann lesen und beantworten. Das ist wohl aber zuviel der Phantasie, bei lausigen 55 Unterschriften…Schade…
Am 4. Januar 2010 um 00:22 Uhr
Please come to Germany and rock our fucking socks off. You’re the greatest band in the world. Think about it, men. We need your non-stop-rocking
Am 22. April 2010 um 18:53 Uhr
Hello JB and KG.!
We are from germany…and we love your music very much.!
Please come to germany and rock our Socks off.!
It will be very cool.!
We have often seen the movie and heard the music daily.!!!
We have got ALL your CD’s.!!
Long live the D.!!!
Love, Jenny and Cassandra
Am 22. April 2010 um 19:33 Uhr
hey
here is jenny
i want to say that you are the best band of the world
i have got all things about tenacious d
i love your music und your movies
why can’t you come to germany
i love you so much
please rock germany
we need you always
long live the d
obey the d
love, jenny (the biggest fan from you)
sorry my english is not good because i speak german
ps: i do everything that you come to us
rock this world
Am 22. Juli 2010 um 00:28 Uhr
hey D!!!
ohhh man pleace i want to see you because you are the greatest band on earth no sorry in the fucking universe!! i love youre music and the way who you sing it jb and the how kage plays on the guitar!! i would do everything to see you live!!!
so come to fucking germany and austria and blow my mind!!!!!
the d rules!!